Stuff.
As Real Estate professionals, we think a lot about stuff. Because we have to deal with our clients', and our potential clients' stuff. All the time.
Often, even when a person knows that it's time to downsize, that they are tired of trying to maintain and keep up with the big house that they raised their kids in, and that they would prefer a lock-and-leave, low-maintenance patio home or condo that would enable them to travel more, stress less and even pay less for their home...they can't. Because they have too much "stuff."
Yikes.
More often than not, their homes are filled with outdated furniture that was very nice in its day, but frankly isn't worth much. And mementos and tchotchkes that hold some memories but mostly collect dust.
They look around helplessly, shrug their shoulders, and say, "I guess we'll just stay here."
We're often told that they are just waiting for their kids to settle down and buy a house, so that they can pass the stuff along to them. But, we know, their kids don't want to be weighed down with most of that stuff. They don't want oak furniture from the '80s in their cute Craftsman bungalow or Downtown loft. They don't want a curio cabinet full of statues and china in their open-plan great room. And they definitely don't want frilly, faded curtains, shiny brass light fixtures, or even the carefully curated art collection featuring Bob Ross-style mountainscapes and framed in gold.
So, when we came across this list, which was created byMarni Jameson, the author of two home and lifestyle books, and the newly released "Downsizing the Family Home What to Save, What to Let Go," we knew that we had to share it here - because if you or someone you know is struggling with "stuff," we think it's a perfect place to start:
- Ask, don't assume:Do not fall into the lazy trap of thinking you will hang onto your stuff for the kids. Ask them what they want and get rid of the rest.
- Believe them:When your kids tell you they don't want whatever it is you are foisting on them, honor that. Believing otherwise is really a delay tactic that allows you to postpone giving up stuff. So what if they look back in 20 years and regret not keeping Dad's green La-Z-Boy recliner. Let them live with the consequences of their decisions. Isn't that a parent's job?
- Your kids want to create their own lives:Just like you did. They also want their own style, not yours. Plus, many already have stuff. By the time I cleaned out my parents' house, I had my own houseful. I did not need a second dining table or desk or sectional.
- Accept that stuff has a lifespan:When your kids rebuff your stuff, remember, your (fill in the blank) has served its useful life for you. If it's still useful, sell or donate it to someone who wants it.
- Times have changed:Many millennials eschew fussy formal furnishings and prefer to live smaller and lighter. Though I can't get excited about living in a 700-square foot downtown apartment and taking Uber everywhere, I respect their lifestyle choice.
- They are practical:Most adult children will take furnishings they like if they can see it working for them. When I asked my youngest what of mine she might want someday, she said, "Maybe your china. But not because it's meaningful, but because I happen to like it." Fair enough. My oldest, age 23, just got her own apartment. She was grateful to get many castoffs, including her bedroom set. The set was mine as girl, and it was my parents' when they got married. It's great when that works out. Just don't force it.
- Don't guilt them:Please do not say things like: "When I'm gone, I want you to have my 12-foot mahogany dining room table and eight chairs, because that would mean a lot to me." I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The line between bestow and burden is blurry. They don't need your furniture to hold you in their heart. Give them the gift of freedom.
Convinced that you are ready to live a simpler life NOW, rather than waiting to purge for a big move?
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Upcovers why we have such a hard time keeping our homes clutter-free and how to discard things by category. It'll even give you a glimpse of how your life will be transformed after your tidying marathon session. Does the title seem to promise too much? Yup. But just like David Allen'sGetting Things Donebookand methodhave changed many people's productivity,The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Upprovides both a strategy and a way of thinking about the stuff we own.
Specifically, this is what you'll find in the chapters:
- Why can't I keep my house in order?You'll learn that Kondo has beencrazyabout tidying since she was the age of five. More importantly, you'll learn that you're better off tidying in one fell swoop rather than tidying up a little and then rebounding. œTidy a little a day and you'll be tidying forever, Kondo explains. A complete decluttering session, rather than sorting and storing things halfway, is needed to change your mindset. (To continue the GTD analogy, it's like the first massive brain dump and paper decluttering session Allen describes in his book.)
- Finish discarding first.This is the cornerstone to the KonMari method. Do a complete purge of everything you own, evaluating each on the basis of whether it sparks joy for you or not. She explains how you have a relationship with every object you own, but if you don't need some of them in your life anymore, you can thank them for their service and get rid of them guilt free. Instead of thinking first œwhat should I get rid of?, however, you'll be thinking œwhy should I keep this?
- Tidying by category works like magic.Instead of tidying by one room at a time, Kondo advises we tackle clutter by category instead, in the following order: clothes, books, papers, miscellany, and then things with sentimental value. You'll put all your clothes on the floor and sort through them, all the books you own in one spot and sort through them, and go through all the œkomono (things you keep œjust because, like small tools or accessories or those electronic cables you can't identify anymore).
- Storing your things to make your life shine.This section is about storing the stuff you do decide to keep with respect, in the best way to see and appreciate them. Lifehacker readers will probably be familiar with the advice toœfile your clothes. Kondo offers other suggestions, such as storing bags within bags, decorating the back of your closet, and keeping bath and kitchen items stored outside of the bath and kitchen sink area (to avoid grimy buildup).
- The magic of tidying dramatically transforms your life.The goal is to be surrounded only by the things you love (or need) and to be inspired by your possessions rather than stressed out by them. This section walks you through the importance and benefits of letting go.
Here are a couple of cool apps for specific areas that might be "cluttering" up your space, just in case you are looking for a small step to just jump in and get started:
Have piles of kids' artwork that you can't bear to part with but have no idea what to do with?
Click here to check out Artkive in the App Store.
Have tons of photos that you would like to organize into beautifully curated photo books?
Here is a great list of Photo Book apps.
Want to make a little cash AND start getting rid of stuff you don't need?
Here is a great list of apps to make Selling Your Stuff easy.
If you've been thinking about making a move, but are overwhelmed by "stuff," we can help.
#form-seller#
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